My father is the tallest most stern man if you don't know him very polite and kind and friendly and respectful but once you get to know him he would give you the world. Truely a gentle giant and a comedian amongst the frends and family and the loved ones.
This man has come into my life and my sisters since we were kids and helped raise us along with our mom and hasn't left since.
When I went to college, graduated from highschool, bootcamp, absolutly anything steven has always been there for me as if I was his very own son.
I guess that's why it kills me that I never really called him dad. Or never really told him that I loved him. I never thought I this man would be struggling for his life before I could or would be able to tell him that I loved him for who he was and what he has done for my mom and family.
To see my dad hooked to almost 10 I.V. bags, and all these technical machines on an air tank breathing for me absolutly kills me. I haven't cried like a baby probably since I was a baby. I love this man and must of told him a thousand times in the last couple days that I did. It breaks my heart that I waited till the day the actual moment before they put him under with all the confusion of the nurses and the family and him sitting there struggling, gasping for air while the air mask is on his face and the doctor is explaining to him that because his lungs are failing him they have to medicate him to coma like status and force a tube down his throat for him to breath.
I waited to that moment to as he asked the doctors with the very faint breath that he had in him and struggled to get out "Is this the last resort?".
I waited to that moment to tell my dad that I loved him. After this man treats my daughter as if she were his grand daughter and my mom like she's the queen of sheeba and my sisters as if they were his daughters. He was there for me when I came home from iraq and cooked my favorite meal for me when I returned and has done countless things for me that I'm sure I've even forgotten about.
From this point on Steven is my Dad and will be called Dad from here on out and when he makes it out of this point in his life I will be sure to let him know that I love him and tell him and the ones I love on a regular basis that I love them too.
Ohh, and dad if you ever read this I want you to know that I love you very much. I love the way that you have taken care of us, I love the way that you have taken care of my brother and sisters. I love the way you showed us that hard work and dedication pays off. I love you for being you and allowing me to be me.
Ilm sorry for not telling you thank you for raising us and I love you for being our father, and my Dad!
Get Well Soon!
That was beautiful Garry, it made me cry. Just know God is with him and God knows whats best, and dont feel bad you never told him you loved him, love isnt about the words you say to someone its how you treat them, and I know Steven knows you love him because you have become such a gentle giant yourself, respectful, sweet, hard worker and you have become a MAN and that is a reflection of LOVE from Steven and your mother. Love is emotions and by you being you has shown Steven just how much you love him. He will be ok, God makes everything happen for a reason and some reasons we just cant explain. I love you cuz, even though we dont know each other that well, I know you are a good person. You are my HERO for going to IRAQ and dedicating your life to keep me and my family safe. Keep the faith cuz ... xoxoxo Gina Allen
ReplyDeleteThat was beautifully written and you can see the heartfelt impact it has on you. It is so sad that your father is going through this right now. As someone who has already lost her father and who has recently lost her grandmother, I can understand the whirlwind of emotions that you are are experiencing. You are here with your father in the present and make every moment count. Embrace the time spent and the memories made together. You're father is a lucky man to be loved and supported by you and your family. Continue to pray and be strong.
ReplyDeleteBlessings Garry, My Prayers and thoughts are with you. I will be you and your family strength in these moments of struggle! Shalom
ReplyDeleteSometimes it takes tragedy for us to realize all we could have done... but do not regret anything in life and do all that you can now in this present moment to demostrate your love for him... never look behind but forward.. I'm sure deep inside your father knows you wish him well and you love him.... My prayers are with you and your family...
ReplyDeleteomg that was beautiful I pray for your dad and your family at this difficult time but I pray your dad makes a full recovery and you get to tell him everyday how much you truly love and appreciate him.
ReplyDeleteI don't know you or your dad, but what a testament to how we should all be living our lives every day. We need to live as if we don't know what tomorrow will bring. We need to care for and love the people with whom we are put here on earth. You do love your dad and although you didn't tell him before, I'm sure he knew. And when your dad is well again, you have fresh new eyes to see him with and to a new heart to love him with. God Bless you and your family and I pray your dad recuperates quickly and completely.
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